Frannie’s Got A Gun

So today was Eveleigh Markets. It was a great day – lots of lovely faces came by, some of whom I haven’t seen in a long time (and I’ve missed – 7 weeks and counting!). Lots of faces I’ve never seen before, all really happy to be at the Artisan’s Market, all excited by what they see and all wanting to talk to the designers and artists. And around 2pm this afternoon was one face that I swear I will not forget in a hurry.

I was engrossed in my knitting, when all of a sudden I heard a woman’s voice say “So this is what I need to do with my boyfriends ties!” I looked up and saw a well dressed young woman with one of my corsages in her hand. You know the ones, the corsages I designed from go to woe, the ones I source and wash and stitch and make with my own sweat. I looked up at her and said nothing, really just taken aback by her comment. She proceeded to examine the corsage, pulling the layers apart so she could see how I made them. Still I sat – please note I had bamboo circular knitting needles in my hand, which could be used to garotte someone should the need ever arise. Then she did it. She asked me how I made them.

Those of you who know me will now expect to read that I unleashed a torrent of hell upon her, and that I am writing this post from my jail cell. But I didn’t yell, I didn’t swear, I didn’t misbehave in the slightest. I simply raised one eyebrow, in a move that indicated how pissed off I was, and told her very firmly that they were my designs and I wasn’t comfortable telling her my design secrets. She stopped, I think realising how naive she’d been. I then very calmly told her I was not happy in the least that she was contemplating copying my designs, and suggested she leave.  She did.

And now, with the wisdom of hindsight, I wish I’d ripped her head off. Who the hell does that? Would you go into Chanel and say Coco darling, how do you get the facings on these jackets to sit flat? Would you pop into Collette and ask her to show you her beading techniques, or how she cuts lace? Would you ask any designer how they did what they do, after telling them you were going to rip them off?

I sincerely hope that the squeaky girl, who came by my stall today at Eveleigh, took my business card home, and is reading this post. Because Girlie, if you are, I tell you I am a bottle brunette and my nautral hair colour is red. I tell you I get my freckles from my Irish ancestry, so the fact that you got away from me today without having your ovaries removed through your belly-button is a small miracle. You are lucky I meditate. But if I find out that you have ripped me off in any way shape or form, I will burn your fucking house down. Metaphorically, I am a passivist.

I really despise people who so blatantly rip other designers off. I see it all the time, and I’m reallysick of it.  If you don’t have the brains nor the talent to stand the heat, then get the fuck out of the kitchen.



3 thoughts on “Frannie’s Got A Gun

  1. Oh Lordy … she’s one lucky lady.
    I am so pleased the markets are growing. I did think about coming down but also bailed on seeing a movie with a friend. I start a new job in a few weeks and suddenly feel overwhelmed by all that’s to be done around the house.

  2. You go girl!!!
    I think that we should legislate that plagiarists be garrotted with bamboo circular knitting needles. Sounds fitting indeed!
    And I recommend that you kick off with Alannah Hill, who has made a career out of plagiarism.
    The revolution starts here, ladies! Speak softly and carry a crochet hook…

  3. WOW, brave or stupid I don’t know. How did she not think what she was doing was wrong on so many levels! Good on you for staying calm Fran, I think that was the best way to go 🙂
    Thanks for the link, I’m looking forward to coming back too, especially because I’l be able to come to crafternoon!

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