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Postcard from the Sweatshop

Well friends, it’s been a while between posts. Not because I don’t care. Ever since I gleefully waved goodbye to my nine-to-five existence, I have not, as it may appear, been polishing silver. My home has been turned into a one-woman sweatshop as I prepare to leap into the great unknown.

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 I would love to have had you over, but I’m afraid there’s hardly space to sit down.

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It’s been relentless, night and day, day and night. Washing and ironing, pinning and pleating, sewing and sewing. Designing and printing, ironing and cutting.

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 So you see dear reader, I have not been idly wasting my days, I have been slaving away, crafting my fingers to the bone. It’s great to be the boss, but my inner boss is a very hard task master, and I barely get a break.

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And don’t even get me started on the pay!

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I do, on occaision, get the opportunity to sit down, put my feet up and craft a little while indulging in a little day -time guilty pleasure.

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Yeah, yeah, I know. Oprah. But let me tell you peeps, today I learned how to make an ear. A human ear. You get an ear shaped mould, put some human cells on it, bung it in the oven, and hey presto! Eight weeks later a fully functioning ear. Now that’s something I’d like to see on MasterChef! Do you know what Dr. Oz & Miss Winfrey are doing? Look closer.

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That is a bladder mould. Yes, a bladder mould. You can make your own bladder. Do you know how exciting this is? Anyone who has ever had to go out with me, and knows how quickly fluid spills out of the teaspoon size bladder I have, will be online ordering me an XXL size as we speak. I wonder if I have the space for two? Cos if I had two bladders I could get more craft made.

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And what is all this in aid of?? Well, I’d love to tell you but The Boss is yelling at me to get back to it, and starting producing more units. Units! Come back tomorrow and I’ll tell you more. Back to the production line for me. Well, at least some of us are pulling their weight.

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